I heard people talk about the book Eat, Pray, Love. Mainly I heard it dismissed as a bunch of New Age Hooey. Then I heard Julia Roberts was making a movie of the book. Okay, whatever. Then, a friend I hadn't seen in a long time brought me the book. Out of the clear blue, she just handed it to me and said her mother said that I should read it, if I had just gotten divorced. So I started. OH MY GOD, I am on each and every page. I am this woman. Over and over again I come upon something that hits me right between the eyes. And beginning the book six weeks after my divorce and 9 days after the end of my beautiful, 9 month odyssey of love and sex and bliss with my Mr. Wonderful, well that certainly helped me to grab onto every single "embrace-life-get-your-chakras-in-order" pearl of wisdom that came across the page. But today, I really did read something that truly helped me. Mr. Wonderful and I are apart. And it's been very difficult for both of us and the word "soul mate" has been tossed around a little. He says I am his soul mate. I told him once that I didn't believe in that one perfect person, a soul mate. But then I read this:
Your problem is you don't understand what that word {soul mate} means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attentio so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for it.
So maybe he was my soul mate after all. I guess what I have to keep telling myself is that I was going to end it. That was the plan. The shock of the way it ending up going, the almost violent conclusion (not violent in the physical sense...violent in how abrupt it was) has shaken me and I'm still recovering from that. But every time I start getting sucked back into "How can I get it all back..." I need to remember that I was getting ready to let it go. Maybe I thought we would be friends forever. Maybe I thought we could still see each other on a platonic level. Maybe that's the idea I'm not ready to let go of. But there was an ending coming. And what I keep coming back to is that maybe it ended the way it was supposed to. And what I also keep coming back to is that doing the right thing can really blow. It's hard and it's painful and shouldn't it be easier and simpler than this? Maybe I wouldn't gain any insight or enlightenment if it were.
Hindsight being what it is, when will I look back and say, "It ended the way it had to..."
Six months? A year? Guess that's another answer I have to wait for.
Your problem is you don't understand what that word {soul mate} means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attentio so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for it.
So maybe he was my soul mate after all. I guess what I have to keep telling myself is that I was going to end it. That was the plan. The shock of the way it ending up going, the almost violent conclusion (not violent in the physical sense...violent in how abrupt it was) has shaken me and I'm still recovering from that. But every time I start getting sucked back into "How can I get it all back..." I need to remember that I was getting ready to let it go. Maybe I thought we would be friends forever. Maybe I thought we could still see each other on a platonic level. Maybe that's the idea I'm not ready to let go of. But there was an ending coming. And what I keep coming back to is that maybe it ended the way it was supposed to. And what I also keep coming back to is that doing the right thing can really blow. It's hard and it's painful and shouldn't it be easier and simpler than this? Maybe I wouldn't gain any insight or enlightenment if it were.
Hindsight being what it is, when will I look back and say, "It ended the way it had to..."
Six months? A year? Guess that's another answer I have to wait for.
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