Patience

The universe is a funny thing. Sometimes, after 2 weeks of hell, a decision to stop having sex and plans to spend 48 hours in reflection and self discovery and almost entire solitude there comes...a moment. A moment when a hot guy 6 years younger than you makes a flirty comment and it shifts and changes to "Screw it! I want to sleep with you! I want a body next to me! That is it! I just want someone to feel close to and someone to hold me and someone I can pretend that things aren't quite as crappy as they really are with!"
So that moment comes. One "Hey baby!" and all the self actualization just flies out the window. But the universe had different plans. Recently I decided to end, at least the physical part of a relationship I was in. It was a fully formed plan, I thought, developed with much insight and logic. And the universe (God, Higher Power, the great Cloud Being, What have you) said "Okay, I'm not sure you'll actually go through with it...let me help you out..." and ends it for you. It sucks, it's ugly and nasty, but it had to be done and now it is. So thanks I guess?
Now tonight, while I'm doing a stupid little flirty text and deciding when and where I'll get sex...really good sex from the looks of him...the Universe said "Hey, didn't you just say you were going to cease and desist on all the horizontal naked time to get your head clear?" so that when I text, "Any free time between Wednesday & Friday night?" the response is "None at all."
Maybe I'm reading too much into it or maybe the universe knows what I'm supposed to be doing. I often come up with the right answers. I often come up with the right decisions. It's the follow through I have trouble with. Can't always quite stick the landing. So, for now, the universe is helping me out a little and it sucks, but it's necessary. So for now, I will say, through bitterly gritted teeth...thank you.