The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single stepYeah, yeah, yeah whatever!!!!!! I've always hated this quote, along with "It's a journey, NOT a destination". Because if it truly is a journey, if that's all this life is chalked up to be, then who wins? Who gets the trophy? This has always been my attitude. It's changing and evolving and I am discovering things. Discovery. 2010, the year I turn 40, my first full year as a single person, is going to be the year of discovery. I am going to try and learn something every day. Maybe something about myself or someone else, maybe a small skill, hell maybe it will even just be a new word. Today's word of the day...
Panacea (pan-uh-SEE-uh) - A remedy for all diseases, problems or evils.
It's perfect because it reminds me that while I'm looking for big, I'm looking for huge, I'm looking for the answers to all life's mysteries and please have them here no later than January 3, alphabetized and cross referenced, thank you very much, what I'm going to get will be quite different. I may get small pieces of a bigger picture over the course of my life, I may get an answer here and there to a question I pose, I may get a level of peace and balance which will never completely prevent some stress from entering into my Universe. If I stop and try to figure out, each day, what I have learned, because I truly believe there is something every day, and while I'm at it, practice Steps 10, 11 & 12 every day, to the best of my ability, then maybe I can figure out what the Universe wants to come next.
Yesterday, I sent a raging manifesto to my ex. Had to be done. I had to say the words "I am not your doormat anymore". It may end up costing me years of misery, but yesterday, I had never felt more confident and in control.
I stepped up and told someone who was very important to me to stop contacting me altogether. Had to be done and while I may not feel better, I feel confident I made the right decision.
2009 was not the greatest year, but today what I discovered (and this very well may be ALL I discover today) is that I am entering 2010 in better shape than I entered 2009. It is not perfect, I am not perfect, 2010 may or may not go down as the worst year of my life and just that statement shows growth. I'm not putting out there that 2010 will suck, but neither am I going to say "Well, 2010 is going to be the best year EVER! Perfect! I will attain 100% true enlightenment, I will lose 30 pounds, I will be financially secure and in love by Halloween!" I am going to see what happens. I am positive that by making my actions line up with the path the Universe has set before me, I can accomplish something this year. Not naming that something, not going nuts to pigeonhole and label "the journey" is another sign of growth. Doesn't mean I can't have goals, if the goals are in line with the path, but for the first time, the goals aren't driving me crazy, the goals are not necessarily the main focus. Discovery, growth, balance, peace, recovery these are the focus. And I don't have to make lists and recount every minute of my day to see what columns my actions went into. As long as I am following the path, being open to the journey, I think I'll be okay.
Not creating delusions is enlightenment - Bodhisharma
Take each day as it comes and try to do the best that you can with it. I leep a daily journal and while each day may only be half a page, I can look back months or years later and know what was going on.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and be all that you can be.