Forgetting to Remember

Things get busy. Things get hectic. Things get frustrating. Relationships get ugly or heartbreaking. Money gets tight. Cars break down. Pets get sick. Children get into trouble. People die. Jobs get lost. Health goes downhill. Friends get hurt. So with all these things going on, its so easy to forget. Easy to forget that I am a good person. Easy to forget that I am a kind person. That I care for people to the best of my ability. That I have been blessed with physical health. That I have been blessed with not living in true poverty (poverty being a relative term at times!). That I have skills and talents. That I took a life that was so much less than what it could be and turned it over and accepted the miracles and today find myself in some kind of dream world where it feels there are no limits to what I can do. It's easy to forget that I have heard the words, "You are a good daughter" and "You are the best mother anyone could ever have" and "You are a good friend" and while the sentiment behind these words is certainly a work in progress and I know better than to take a daily poll, those words mean something to me. It's easy to forget that I can be fun, that I love to flirt and have a good time. Easy to forget that there have been people who enjoy being around me. Easy to forget that struggling with an addiction and knowing I didn't fall back in yesterday is huge. And that it takes a lot from a person to wake up fighting that every day. Every day forever. It's easy to forget that there are people who love me. Truly love me for exactly who I am. And that some of the people who might be critical (as I see it) or may have a million and one suggestions for how I could change, if I truly look into their hearts, they still love me the way I am too. That's something I've never been able to remember. It's easy to forget that there are people that aren't going to like me or love me and that I can't waste my energy trying to change their mind. It's easy to forget that I have a place in a Universe that wants me to succeed and be happy and tries its best to back me up on that. It's really easy to forget that things that are hard to take usually happen for a reason and that with distance and a spirit of acceptance, I may get the miracle of a drop of insight into what that reason is. And if I don't get that, then I wasn't meant to have it.
That's a lot to remember when I struggle to remember to send in lunch money some days! But truly, they aren't things I guess or things I remember. They are things I know. Things I know deep down. Things I can use to anchor me in the middle of a storm of life that is whipping me around from one end of the boat to another. The things I can hold onto when its dark and I feel lonely. The light at the end of the tunnel. Last night, at my meeting I read the words "Sunshine of the spirit" and "The Road of Happy Destiny" and all these things are included in that Sunshine and on that Road and every day, I thank the Universe for allowing me a moment of clarity to recognize, to participate, to love myself and always remember what I know.